Instead than concentrating on punishment, Switzerland's "No Blame" approach emphasizes empathy, tolerance, and respect.

Ben's parents observed a decline in his grades when he was eleven years old. He ceased bringing up the subject of education. He often asked his mother to keep him at home the following day after complaining of stomachaches on Sunday nights.

According to Bettina Dénervaud, co-founder of the Swiss project Hilfe bei Mobbing, which translates to "Help With Bullying," "These are all typical signs there might be a bullying problem." When she and her coworkers are trying to figure out if there's a problem with psychological, emotional, or physical bullying or whether there's just a disagreement that needs resolving, they utilize a 30-point checklist. Conflicts are often settled within a few weeks or days, but bullying, according to Dénervaud, may last for months or even years.

It seems like the next step is backwards. Bullies are encouraged to provide a hand to the victimized student instead of facing punishment. A research conducted in 2008 examined 220 incidents of bullying. The No-Blame Approach, as it is often called, was effective in 192 cases, or 87% of the cases. Bullying stopped after just two or three weeks in the majority of the schools that were reviewed.

Because of this remarkable success rate, Bettina Dénervaud began training with German mediator Detlef Beck in 2016 and in 2019, she established a consulting firm for bullying.

When working with Ben, Dénervaud first suggested that he have a one-on-one conversation with his most trusted instructor. (In cases where the instructor lacks training in bullying intervention, Dénervaud or a colleague may be present either in person or over Zoom.) The objective is for Ben to express himself freely and privately on what transpired, his feelings, and his ideas regarding the bullies. 

"This is a chance for them to release all the pressures they're feeling and for us to get their approval before we move forward," Dénervaud says. "The victim always has the last say, and not even the parents are privy to the specifics of what their child discussed in their private session." 

Nobody knew until now that Ben's bullying had been far worse than his teachers and parents had thought. Ben was the target of name-calling, shoves, and trips from other kids, and he was also left out of group activities. Additionally, in an online "poll," he was named "ugliest" among his classmates. Bullying had persisted for a lot longer and begun a lot sooner than the parents had anticipated. What would make him feel safe? The instructor wanted to know, too.

Step two is when the No-Blame Approach really shines. The instructor selects six or eight pupils to attend a social gathering; in Ben's instance, this included three bullies, three reliable classmates, and two "neutral" tagalongs. No one tells the kids that the meeting is about Ben. A teacher may begin class discussion with "I have a problem" after some small conversation. Some pupils don't seem to have anyone's back while we're learning. As an example, Ben, how might we be of service to them?" 

By saying, "I notice the other students are looking up to you," the instructor skillfully sidesteps the issue of naming the bullies. Your words matter. The bully feels noticed right away, according to Dénervaud's experience. Individuals have a sense of significance.

“What do you believe you could do to help?" the educator asks as a follow-up question to elicit ideas.

It was suggested by one of the boys that they may include him in their afternoon soccer group. Someone another said, "I could catch up with him during the breaks." 

These recommendations are jotted down on a whiteboard by the group.

Third, throughout the following week or so, check in with every student, including Ben. It is possible to repeat or modify the intervention as needed.

Dénervaud explains, "The goal is to change the social dynamic and to lay open what has been happening." According to Dénervaud, younger children often begin to weep during these sessions "because they realize for the first time what has been happening and how unhappy the bullying victim has been." Respect, tolerance, and empathy are some of the topics we cover. When I interact with other people, how do I hope to be treated?

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Educator George Robinson and psychologist Barbara Maines created the No-Blame Approach in the early 1990s in the United Kingdom. This strategy urges mental health professionals and teachers to refrain from blaming and punishing bullies, even in extreme circumstances, unless the bullying is a crime. Since 2003, almost 20,000 educators in Germany, Austria, and Switzerland have been educated by two German mediators, Heike Blume and Detlef Beck, who further simplified the technique.

Among all countries surveyed for the 2018 PISA (Program for International Student Assessment) by the OECD, Switzerland ranked highest for bullying. School bullying has been on the increase since the last PISA assessment in 2015, with the prevalence of physical bullying in Switzerland more than tripling, according to the report. 

The only thing that Bettina Dénervaud can do is guess as to why: "Perhaps the expectation to succeed?"

Depression, anxiety, self-harm, health problems, and worse academic performance are among the many negative outcomes that experts say may result from bullying. The damage may last for years, even into adulthood, if this problem is not addressed, Dénervaud said. Nearly 200 instances of student suicide in the United States in the last several years have been uncovered by an investigation by the Washington Post. 

Bullying is something that over 20% of students in the US and EU have dealt with. A Pew Research Center poll from 2022 found that about half of all youths have experienced cyberbullying. While the majority of states in the United States have passed legislation against bullying, the specifics of these laws' enforcement vary substantially not just among states but also within individual schools.

Dénervaud has been teaching English to a wide range of students for over 20 years, including children, teens, and adults. She understood the magnitude of the problem since she was often approached by parents, children, and educators seeking her guidance on bullying. "I realized there were not a lot of specialized offerings," she said, her decision to concentrate on that matter. The two hours allotted to the subject in conventional teacher education programs is woefully inadequate. "But it usually offers general psychological advice, not specifically how to proceed and what the next steps should be regarding bullying." As Dénervaud puts it, when parents or kids are worried, the mental health hotline is frequently recommended to contact. 

As the problem grows in severity throughout the globe, her office is the only one in Switzerland that focuses exclusively on bullying.

According to her, "mostly from parents or from schools who request training for their staff," the two coworkers get around ten calls each week. She feels that schools are not taking the matter seriously enough, and this is making her very angry. The phrase "Oh, the kids will sort it out" is used often. According to Dénervaud, there are instances when schools show blatant apathy in an attempt to avoid taking responsibility. All too often, we hear about how schools either do nothing or, worse, try to mediate the conflict by seating the offender and victim together. In most cases, that will have the opposite effect. 

From what Dénervaud has seen, punishing the bullies just makes things worse for the bullied. The bullies' usual tactic is to make the victim 'pay.' When bullies are not intervened with, the victim may be referred to therapy, which reinforces the belief that something is wrong with them as they are singled out and require assistance.

Bullying does not seem to be associated with particular victim attributes like weight, appearance, or social standing, according to Dénervaud's rather unexpected experience. On the other hand, statistics reveal that LGBTQ adolescents face a much higher incidence of bullying compared to their classmates. 

There is no such thing as a 'typical' bullying victim, which goes against the grain of popular belief and my own first assumptions. The victim of bullying might be anyone, she explains. "That is why fixing the target's perceived flaws, like their weight or appearance, will not work."

The social dynamics of a school, she realizes, are the root reasons of bullying. A nerdy, glasses-wearing student who is teased at one school may be the object of envy at another.

Part of the reason Dénervaud thinks parents and bullied individuals shouldn't be left to their own devices is because of this. As she puts it, "these parents are often desperate and sometimes even sell their home and leave the community they were a part of, uprooting the siblings too, to send their kid to a different school." That's not all they do, however. Unless their family can afford private school tuition, Swiss parents are obligated to enrol their children in the public school that is geographically nearest to their home. 

Dénervaud and her two colleagues are compelled to charge either the parents or the schools for the consultations and training, since their attempts to get public financing to make their service free were unsuccessful. It would be great if we could give it out for free, she adds.

As she puts it, "when bullying has gone on for too long, sometimes for years," the No-Blame Approach becomes inadequate. Then it may be preferable to remove the victim from the scenario since the patterns are so deeply embedded. She also concedes that the strategy isn't always well-executed. The next step is to either step in and help or to try again with a new set of pupils.